Toilet Water

Yesterday while I was brushing my teeth, Angel went behind me and started playing in the toilet bowl.  Horrified, I scooped him up to wash his hands.  Before we made it to the sink he jammed one hand into my mouth and the other was spread across my face.  Awesome.  I had toilet water hands in my mouth and on my face.  I didn't really want to share this story because I felt like a bad caregiver, like people would judge me.  Like I'd somehow failed them because Angel had some fun in the toilet bowl.  But it's a funny lead-in for the harder issues behind this week with the boys, so there it is.

The week isn't all fun and games with them.  It's a very complicated foster care situation, and it's all in Spanish.  They have a mom who is in their lives, and they are going to be able to spend the upcoming weekend with her.  And for most of their year, they live in a children's home with 42 other kids.  These little boys are caring some heavy emotional baggage to say the least.  Their mom is also carrying emotional baggage, she lives with the daily reality that her kids are being cared for in an institution by other people and she sees them when she can which isn't often.

I want a relationship with their mom.  I want to know her, know her story, and work with her to help her boys.  But I'm scared of her and of the situation.  I'm scared of being judged or having my intentions misunderstood.  I'm scared that I'm not enough for these boys or that I'll let them down and, in turn, let her down.  I'm scared that she'll feel inferior after I had her boys for a week of special fun.  I'm scared that she'll disapprove of something I did.  Like Angel playing in the toilet bowl.

What I'm learning in all this is that God is sovereign and has a huge plan for these boys lives, he is El Elyon.  This day was part of God's plan for their lives.  And he is a God who sees and knows every situation, he is El Roy.  God sees and knows every part of these boys lives and their mom's life.  He has plans for all of them and every single day of these boys lives is a part of that plan.  Pray with me as I enter into this big story!